Using Your Attention to Be Happy

In every moment, there are two possibilities. One possibility is to have all of our curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is happening. The other, is to have that same curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is not happening, what is not present, or what we think should or shouldn't be happening. In every moment, the question is: What are you giving your attention to? Are you allowing what is, or going to battle with it-trying to change it in some way?

When our focus is on what is, our experience opens up and becomes bigger, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (including the past, the future, or any thought about what should be), our experience of the moment contracts down and becomes much narrower and full of struggle and suffering, because inherent in our focus on what is not is the tendency to struggle with what is.

When we look, we discover that most of the time we are in opposition to what is and oriented toward what is not. Life is mostly about how to make things better and get more pleasure, or how to get rid of the things that are painful. We are constantly evaluating our experience, looking to see what's wrong with what we are experiencing and how it could be improved. We tend to be focused on what's wrong with the moment or on what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited.

If we see how much we struggle with what is, the next tendency is to then go to battle with that. We try to fix this tendency to try to change everything. But that is only more of the same: All that has changed is that now we are struggling against our tendency to try to change things. We end up suffering over the fact that we are suffering.

Another possibility is to notice how you suffer, without trying to change anything about it. Just allow that you don't allow much. Recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling is what we were conditioned to do; and this it turns out that this conditioning is also a part of what is.

Once we take a break form being in opposition to what is, it becomes possible to see how our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the basic assumption that something is happening in "my" experience, there is no point in trying to change anything. Our struggle and effort to change what is makes sense only if there is a me. It is in service to maintaining the idea or image of a me. In fact, the struggle is what makes up the me. When the struggle stops, there is no me. All of our suffering is the means by which we maintain an identity.

Once we realize this, the tendency is to try to fix this-to try to change our belief about who we are. We focus on getting rid of identification, which is again, focusing on what is not. We are still suffering because now we are at war with our tendency to identify. Instead of being oriented toward and accepting of what is (our struggle with identification), we are oriented toward how we think it should be: I should know better than to be caught in identification; I should know who I really am.

It is also possible to be really present to whatever is happening including our identifications, without making any effort to change things. If it is happening, then that's what happens. You can just let it be. You may even be amazed by it all, including the strange sense of a me. You can see how unreal this "me" ultimately is, but there is no need to struggle to get rid of it. There's no no need to assume that something's wrong that needs to be fixed. Just letting things be the way they are is the simplest way to end your suffering and be fully present in the here and now.

Whenever it is just fine for everything to be just the way it is including any identity and struggle, then much more of what is can be recognized in our awareness. If we are present to and allowing our struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond struggle and any effort to maintain our identity. What that something is, is our true nature or Being.

Along with identification and the suffering inherent in that, is the possibility of an awareness of this vast Being in which it all is happening. All the me is and ever has been is a idea, but we don't need to turn away from that or judge ourselves for it or try to get rid of it. Then we can start to also notice a beautiful, rich presence of Being, which is already allowing everything, including the idea of "me". We see that our struggle is only a small percentage of our experience and that this is all happening in an endless ocean of allowing. Being is and has always been allowing it all.

We can sometimes even notice what it is that is allowing It is Being that allows and that is what we truly are. This realization can be a very surprising jolt or a very simple sense of waking up to something very familiar. It is Being that has always allowed even when it seemed like you were doing it.

Paradoxically, what brings us beyond the struggle and unlocks the bigger view is realizing how much we enjoy identifying. Once we allow things to be the way they are, it is possible to admit that identification has been a lot of fun. The illusion of a separate self is an incredible act of creation. It has created the whole drama of human existence. It has inspired many of the great works of art and literature. We love to identify, but that doesn't mean we also don't suffer from it. This creation and projecting of a false identity-a me-is not a mistake. It's natural, spontaneous, and inherent in human nature. It's one of the richest parts of our experience-and there is also the even richer possibility of no longer mistaking the me as the totality of who we are. Identification isn't a mistake, and yet there is much more to life-and to us-than that experience. The larger Being that we truly are is always here.

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Well regarded spiritual guide, Nirmala has offered Satsang and individual Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He provides free spiritual books and many more ways to experience his teaching on endless-satsang.com.
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