Alone Time for Divorced Parents ' You Need It.

I have written several articles for you in which I discuss how important is for you to take time away from your kids just for yourself. I know that because you are divorced, you have learned that you have a much stronger need to rely on the help from friends and family more now than previously. If you've got kids, it's pretty challenging to balance time for them and time for yourself. Hopefully our tips here will give you some great ideas for how to do just that.

ONE: Lean on your parents. I know it's a bit embarasing burdening them with what you see as 'only your' problems, because you might have had some words with them because of the divorce. Regardless of the details of your divorce, your parents' role as parents don't change. Even if they disagree with what has happened, they still love you. That will never change. They should be helping you through this tough time in your life. It's not over-stretching to request that they help you by watching the children a few times each month so that you can refreshen your Self which will let you continue to be the best mom or dad you can. I suspect if you discussed this with them, they'd agree with me.

TWO: Lean on your ex in-laws. Yep, you heard me right. Every situation is different, and they could possibly hate your guts for divorcing their son or daughter, but your kids are still their grandkids. I have a friend who's ex mother-in-law told her "You can divorce him, but you can't divorce me. I want to experience my grandkids." I'd recommend asking for their assistance when you've got some workaday jobs that would get done a lot faster if you didn't have your children with you - things like shopping for groceries or visiting your divorce attorney. Just be straight and to the point. Tell them you could use their help.

THREE: Lean on a good friend: Everyone has at least one, special someone that they can confide in. Is there one special someone who's always acted thoughtfully toward you and your life goals? Who do you know that really cares for both you and your kids? Talk to them. Ask them for some help with what you have to do now without the husband or wife that you had before. If you don't ask for help excessively, they would more than likely feel warm and fuzzy when you ask them to help out, and your kids will have special time alone with their grandparents.

And finally, just take some time to put a plan in action. We all feel better when we have something to look forward to. If you can sit down with some of these important people and make up some sort of schedule, you and your kids will benefit greatly! As a result, you will have removed some of the painful pressure of being divorced, and you will have been instrumental in providing alone time for YOU.

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Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

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